Conquering Self-Sabotage: How I'm Finally Getting Back Into Running After a Year
Overcoming avoidance, perfectionism, and self-doubt to hit the pavement again
I haven’t ran in a long time. My Apple Fitness app says I haven’t run since last summer! There were so many ways I was trying to self-sabotage. Let’s name the culprits 👇🏼
Before the Run 🛌
My avoider wanted me to stay in bed longer, relish my slow morning routine, and stay home. My avoider told me I could run before sundown after I’ve completed my day. My avoider creates the best excuses (no surprise, as the avoider in me can be the strongest way I self-sabotage).
My perfectionist wanted me to have all the gear necessary for an outdoor run. You know the running vest or belt that holds two little water bottles? I must have it to run.
My hypervigilant agreed with my perfectionist. Foreal, if I needed water, what am I going to do? And also, what if I need to use the bathroom? I don’t want to use the public water fountains or the bathrooms around the lake 😵💫
During the Run 🏃🏻♀️
My hyperachiever is here! My hyperachiever wants me to run faster, and keep up the pace with my husband and other runners. My hyperachiever wants me to sprint. Hyperachiever is great at running me straight to burnout and exhaustion.
My hyperachiever is also great at linking up with my inner bully. They tag team to judge me for the pace I’m going.
Avoider again. She wants me to stop running at around mile 2 even though my energy and body feels fine. Great excuses again like, “You ran 2 miles already! That’s great, it’s okay to walk the rest. You can run the full lake next time.”
After the Run 🙆🏻♀️
My inner bully again is judging me for my pace
So, how did I overcome these saboteurs? I labeled them for what they were. I told them to get lost. I have a dialogue with them. I don’t identify with them with “I” statements. Instead, I use their names (avoider, judge, etc.) and give them pronouns to talk to them.
I then tuned into my energy and body to discern what I’m capable of in that moment and listened to that. I tune into my why before the run. During the run, I realized that I’m not too tired, I can keep going at the pace that I’m going.
And that’s how I ran for the first time outside in over a year while being kind to myself and giving me grace 💪🏼🥳
Reflection Questions
What are your biggest culprits? I invite you to give them names.
If you’re struggling to identify them, feel free to take this quiz.
How are your culprits getting in the way of the life you want to live, your goals, your dreams, and your desires?
What practices can you do in the moment to recognize when your culprits are making decisions?
